THE LAST TIME

(This will be the last time I will be able to post a poem in the Secret Garden…)

Many years ago I wanted to learn how to pixel
All I knew was clip art, email and such
I met a young girl name Laughter who said I’ll teach you how,
So I did my first design thinking, this is fun.. O WOW!!

She invited me to join a group to make friends and
Learn more every day
This was my beginning of the Secret Garden and
After that I got carried away..

I met so many friends from all over the world.
They came from near and far
To say, good morning, don’t take my daisies, or simply
Just to know how you are..

We even had a Daisy Friend each month & made such cute things
for each other
It wasn’t long until we had a list of our “Sisters” and perhaps even a “Brother”.

There was joy and tears
As we vented our hearts out,
Because this was the place you knew you could,
Its what The Secret Garden was all about

Sometimes we would have a contest, play games, or just
be there for each other
Its the 1st thing I opened on my computer each day
And I still can’t believe its going away.

Our Secret Garden is coming to an end
But I hope we can make a big circle and all join hands,
And give each other one last hug,
As we’ll always be “Forever Friends”

Goodbye my friends.
Love from Just the Turtle June 20, 2009

I will be going with 3 other ladies as co-chairman for our group tomorrow to the Capital to make this signing official. Its a proud and wonderful day to have Fibromyalgia recognized finally.

Hello all – Attached is an E-copy of Governor Rick Perry’s Proclamation for National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day on May 12^th which I just picked up.  There will be legislative proclamations as well, and a mention of this on the floor of the Senate for certain this Tuesday by Senator Kirk Watson (D-Austin).  The Austin Fibro Friends group leader, the wonderful Amy Shepherd, Founding Member, has done a great job on this.

THANKS AMY ~

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April is finally over! YEA! I already have lots of things marked to do on my calendar for this month. Just not sure what I will be doing yet for Mothers Day.

Last week I moved into the large bedroom of the duplex I am renting. And I obtained a new roommate. A young guy from China name Ming. He is real sweet & a little shy, but we do have a bit of a communication gap understanding each other. I was not sure about the idea of having a guy as a roommate, but my landlord offered me a deal that if I would allow him to rent the room he would not make me pay a pet deposit and since I have been wanting a cat or dog, I decided to give it a try. I just hate that guys always leave the lid up on the toilet. Except for that we seem to get along ok. But it has only been a few days.

I am going to start going to some divorce classes starting next Wed & I am excited about that. Then I “might” fly out to Florida the end of May to visit my 2 sons & their families. Depends on how much it cost.

Well Easter is over & I didn’t get to go see my grandkids as they were busy all weekend, but thats ok as I am planning on a trip to see my 2 sons & their families in Florida in the next 2 or 3 months. I’m excited about that.

I am still having issues with my new phone. So many fun features but really hard to understand how to use it. They should make easy instructions for those over 50 lol

Saturday I had to go to the bank, the Sprint store to get the phone numbers changed over which took forever as there were so many people there, then had to go get groceries. By the time I got them home I was pooped, but… also very hungry. So Wanda & I decided to try out a new big & pretty Chinese food buffet in town. It was good but not worth $10. a person I don’t think.

Then Sunday I went to a real Hippie party! I belong to a meet-up group called Austin Hippies, that have get togethers but their main function is to help others in need, mainly the homeless. But this party is like one I have never been too. The girl who organized it is about 21 yrs old, long reddish/blond hair, very slim and lots of pearcings in her nose & ears. She lives with a guy in a really nice house & a fantastic backyard. They had a hottub but I didn’t go in with them. But I did have something I had never had before. They had hamburgers & chicken grilled outside on a huge bbq pitt. Then she had these huge mushrooms with herbs & spices on it. I think its called Torlieini or something like that. I had to try some & was surprised that I actually liked them. Then when she heard I had never had a Pina Colada she said oh you must try this too! And it was yummy. It was enough to make me very relaxed & sleepy lol I got to meet alot of the members of the group & had a really good time. Only thought of “him” a few times.

Then……………  after I got home from that, I went with Wanda to have CC’s pizza as they had a special since it was Easter. So I ate again!! Bet I gained alot of weight this weekend. I got something really special for Easter but that is another post

I was so tried last night & it didn’t take me long to fall asleep. It was a very fun weekend & I am truely blessed.

IF you LOVED me, you just WOULDNT have said goodbye
WHEN  you left me I sat down and CRIED.
now my tears have dried and I SEE
you were NEVER better anyways WITH ME.
I know now how LUCKY I am, to have finally FOUND
all the things you couldnt BE TO ME.

I got this poem from someone’s blog with permission. I think it kinda describes my feelings right now about my STBX

to be continued tmr…

<img src=”http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i165/PattyJean78/Egg01.gif”>

Goodness this has been such an emotional day.  First I will address yesterday. I did write in my dairy but forgot to save it before I went to bed so it was lost. I did good on some of my goals. Like I didn’t buy diet cokes or anything like that when I got groceries & I talked myself out of stopping at McDonalds for a cheeseburger on the way home. I ate what I had bought at the store instead & felt very proud of myself for being able to make these responsible choices. I did drink a diet coke Sun & Mon while going out with friends, but not at home. It felt so good to be able to go shopping & cook my own food after so long.

That afternoon I went with Wanda to a few Dollar stores but didn’t find anything I wanted. After I got home

I unpacked more boxes that we got from the storage on Sunday. But Monday was different…

I have been wanting a diet coke all day & can’t seem to get full.. I just wanted to eat…eat…eat…

At first I didn’t want to do anything but sleep but I finally got out of bed to a beautiful Tuesday. I decided to go through the box of vcr tapes hoping to find some of the music video’s I made for several years. First I found one from when Erik & I went out on our 1st new years together & that made me sad. The next one was from Christmas 1984 at my parents house. That made me cry alot since I saw my mom/dad laughing and enjoying the holidays like she always did. I miss them so much. Then the next one was of my little dog Tinker who died when she was only 7 yrs old. She was my best friend ever. We really understood each other. The video was of her with her 6 little Shih-tzu puppies & they were so cute.  Next I found a vcr tape that my kids made for me for mothers day 1993. Parts of it made me cry, but most of it made me laugh as they have a way of putting a smile on my face. I bet they don’t even remember making it I love and miss having my kids around too. Then I ate some more of the good homemade soup I had made the night before. It turned out pretty good even if I do say so myself. Tomorrow I think I might journey over to Walmart or something.

Good nite Moon ~

I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution because I was in the hospital, but I am making a list of things that I plan to do for the rest of the year. I hope I can stick to it.

I WILL…………..

1. Try to loose more weight by not drinking diet cokes.

2. Start going to church

3. Start a budget & stick to it

4. Use cash only except to pay bills on payday

5. Write in diary every night before I go to bed

6. Walk or do Richard Simmons exercies

If I think of more I will add to this.

I might become a single lady this month & obtain my madian name when the divorce is final. I want to think of March as taking more baby steps while doing things one step at a time.

I WILL

Credits:
little bird, bunny & turtle from  http://mylittlepixels.co.uk/
floaties from Magikal, http://www.pixelatingmagik.biz/
outline & Tutorial © swt harmony graphics

Can you see me smiling??  I am so happy I FINALLY got a place of my own. Its one side of a duplex & I share it with another girl in her 20’s but she is seldom here. So its really like having the place “just me” It has a cute little kitchen, seperate dining & living room (with a fire place), a nice bath, sun room, & utility room with washer & dryer. I got my dining room furniture, king size bed, microwave, 2 Tv;s & a few boxes out of storage. I will get more each week to decorate as the weather gets better. Right now I am fighting a sinus infection & I think its winning The landlord is so nice & even said that later if i decide I want a pet then just let him know & we will talk about it. I do want another little doggie but don’t want to rush into it either. Its the very 1st time ever in my life that I have lived by myself. I thank God every day for helping me get thru all this & for my new little place. The divorce should be final soon & I went to court with the disability. The lawyer said I gave good answers & she thinks it went well, but really couldn’t tell. It could be 3=9 months before I hear anything on their decision. In the meantime, she suggested that I see about getting a p/t job that won’t be too tiring that I can do instead of just setting home waiting. So thats what I am going to do. I had a lovely Valentines day & now I am ready to pixel some goodies for my Daisy Friend. Thanks everyone for the encouragement & friendship I have received. Big Hugs to Everyone ~ And Thank you God

It has been a long time since I wrote anything here. I think I made the diary then forgot about it. Now maby I can actually keep things updated.. I HOPE.. It has been a long up & down journey. I think I am past the days of crying my heart out, although certain memories can cause tears in a heart beat.

I learned a lesson from all this. .. most important… living with a friend or relative changes things. No matter how much you love someone & want it to go smooth, it doesn’t. Didn’t for me anyways. My daughter fixed up her son’s little room to be my room. I had a tv, cable, internet, my desk & a twin size bed. It wasn’t long till I discovered that I was becoming the live in babysitter. The biggest problem is that my daughter will not allow me to discipline my Granddaugher, so she started to disrespect me, called me a lier & many other things. It was really getting out of hand. When it started causing problems I knew it was time to move somewhere else. I wasn’t sure if I could make it on my own so I moved in with a good friend back in Austin. It was less stressful there. They included me in everything.. I had a family there for the holidays & all was going well. Then her kids & the animals started to get on my nerves. Then there were some arguments between me & my friend & I felt that it was time to move on again. I don’t think I should try living with someone. Not sure if its just that I am too set in my ways or if I am just a terribly spoiled person.. I don’t know.

But on Feb 11 I rented my own place & picked up the key. That will be my next entry in full detail.